Dating services

So you are sitting home alone on a Saturday night wondering how do I get her back? You will have to ask yourself why you want her in your life again. Are you just too lonely or was she really that special. Will getting back together fix the problems that caused you to separate, or are you unaware of why she left? Is this really a temporary type of rift or is there irreparable damage? But still you want this relationship to heal and last.

Attempting to escape from a state of loneliness is not a good reason to keep a relationship. Just having a gap filled is not the way to develop a mature relationship. If one person is just tired of the frenzy of dating and the other wants a commitment the messages can get muddy. Was she just someone to take to parties so you didn’t look like no one wanted you? Was she just “handy” for sex or social events? Was she the person you whined to after work because everyone else was tired of listening? What were the two sided parts of your relationship?

Ah in the glow of a new relationship both people distort what they see to rationalize the “perfection” of this special person. After a period of time couples do learn to “accept each other for all the traits” and compromise. However, realistically this doesn’t occur on date number one. It’s a rare occurrence even by date 7 or 8 or much longer.

Could there have been a third person involved here? Did she confront you and you said, “Really, it was a fling, she isn’t important?” Then you just put a serious dent in the mutual trust compartment. Women (and men) know that if there’s been a “step out” before the likelihood of repeated behavior is high. Re-building her trust will be challenging

Maybe she did the wandering but discovered that the guy did matter and now you sit at home. Let’s put cards on the table. People in strong relationships rarely reach out for another. Without being hard on yourself (“Oh what did I do wrong?”) look at where the relationship could have been stronger.

Perhaps she had the same story, but, indeed, he did matter and you are the one sitting at home now. People don’t generally seek other relationships if the one at home is strong. Without kicking yourself look at where the relationship was weak. Was there respect? Did you respect her abilities, her body, her opinions (even if you didn’t agree) her family, her work? And did she respect you in return? Love and trust do not grow on a disrespectful foundation.

Aks yourself questions and get the answers. Then if you find the answer, start to looking for ways how to win her back.

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